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“If people are getting their needs for love, attention, intimacy, companionship and sex from somewhere else, I think it’s cheating,” she says. “She no longer became the funny, excited and refreshing girl I had fallen for,” he says.

“And, if they’re keeping their relationship a secret from their real-life partner.” When Kat’s real-life spouse began getting suspicious, things between the Second Life couple began to deteriorate. There was a breakup, a half-hearted reconciliation and a final breakup.

As a result, she doesn’t go in-world that much anymore.

“I decided that I didn’t want to partition my love,” she says.

She gets all that from her current real-life boyfriend — a guy Sarah says she’ll probably marry.

And even though Sarah’s boyfriend didn’t ask her to, she ended her Second Life relationship last year.

The excitement is what initially drew Sam to hook up with Kat.

Some folks use virtual relationships as a way to experiment.Just over half of men — 53 percent — think that’s cheating, as compared with 73 percent of women. “It’s a 3-D avatar having sex with another 3-D avatar,” says Wagner James Au, author of the Second Life blog New World Notes.Ratchet that up to online talk or “Webcamming,” and the cheating meter ticks up slightly: 57 percent of men think that’s a no-no, while 77 percent of women do. “What looks like a hot blonde babe could be a 60 year-old man in Milwaukee.” But at some point, Sam’s in-world relationship with Kat began to intrude on his real life.What Sam didn’t expect, he says, is how much the virtual breakup would affect him.“My feelings for Kat were no different in many ways than what happens in a real-life relationship,” he says.

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